Season 28, Episode 1
No but why does turning 28 feel like Doomsday????
Recently I reached out to a few friends (who had already turned the big 2-8) explaining how anxious I was about my upcoming birthday.
The first convo went like this:
Sarah Mantin:
Why am I so anxious about turning 28
Tell me it’s gonna be okay
Friend:
It's going to be OK
All the years after 25 blend together anyway
Sarah Mantin:
I really thought I would be further in life by now
Friend:
From the outside looking in, I'd say you're doing pretty darn good
Sarah Mantin:
No job no home no kids lol
Friend:
I see three blessings lol
Andddd the second response was:
Friend:
It will be okay. Think about my 28th…
5 years can change a lot. I feel like ages 27-31 are legit mind fuck years. You’re supposed to be somewhere, but no one actually knows where/what the fuck that is.
Both valid points IMO.
But I just keep thinking: by my age, my mom was married and caring for a baby, with another arriving soon-ish. By 28, some people have become millionaires. Or brain surgeons. Or are already retired professional athletes.
And I still haven’t figured out how to fold a fitted sheet (pls refer back to my last blog post).
Besides the panic that comes with comparison that everybody around me seems to be buying houses and making babies (thanks, Facebook), my late twenties have brought home the reality that every big decision I make now could affect everything. To someone in their later years, I know, I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous. We've been told that these should be the best years of our lives. But it’s the constant should I’s and what if’s that have me stressed AF and feeling like the world is on my shoulders. Should I be saving more, or having more fun? Should I be creating memories now, or thinking of my future children? What if I can’t pay my bills next month? What if I end up alone? What if this headache means I have cancer?
If you can’t tell already, I’m a chronic worrier. I often worry about what I’ve yet to achieve, and sometimes fall victim to the idea that “I’m running out of time” when I think about the long list of things I still want to accomplish. I live a very unconventional life as society would call it. I love being on the road exploring the world. I feel most comfortable when I’m uncomfortable. I’m not ready to own a house and I’m not quite sure I’d make a great wife just yet either, because there’s more inner work that needs to be done.
Your late-twenties can bring all kinds of anxiety to do with your future, your impact on the world, the decisions you’ve already made, and those you’ve yet to make. But I’ve come to realize there's a lot of glorious things about being in your late twenties, too. So let’s focus on those, shall we?
There’s a new-found appreciation of a good wine or recipe. There’s so much excitement for careers moves ahead. You have much more intelligent conversations with friends. There’s less guilt about putting yourself first. It’s easier to ignore unsolicited advice. You really do give less of a damn about what others think or say about you. You don't feel like a loser for staying home on a Friday night. You realize it’s OK to ask for help. You learn to say no with confidence. You take more risks. You’re still as clueless as you were in younger years, but you realize that so are people older than you and that no one really knows what they’re doing… and then you’re more zen about it.
Lastly… you learn that comparison really is the thief of joy.
“We only know how to measure and compare and gauge because of what we have been taught is right and admirable in society. We only know how to make an upward comparison based on what we know will elicit the agreement of the masses, or at least the faceless group of people we’re so concerned with impressing all the time…. The only real measure of growth is what you get when you compare yourself to yourself. This is the only thing that really matters. This is the only thing we’re here for. It doesn’t matter if it’s tiny and only makes sense to you or if it’s enormous and visible to the whole goddamn world. The only thing that will ever matter is that you are better than you once were, and you have the confidence to look back at yourself not with shame or humiliation, but with the understanding that you need the past to compare the future.” — Brianna Wiest, The Human Element
Here’s to 28 y’all… same time, same menty-b, next year?